Thursday, February 20, 2014

The One?

I went to dinner with a great, new, old friend this week, and I had several ah-ha moments in that margarita filled 1.5 hours. I love my old new friend, Madison. She is a free spirit who's so full of life. I have true, meaningful, intelligent conversations with her about life and love.  Basically, she's great and I love when we slow life down for a little while to laugh, happy cry, and catch up…and eat Mexican food.


Love. She and I are on different spectrums when it comes to love. She is getting back to loving herself after a long year of loving someone else, and I'm in the early stages of sharing my love with someone else. We talked about finding, having, and the existence of The One.

 I posed the question to her, "How is there a "The One" for you among billions of people roaming the Earth?"

I have a lot of thoughts on this, but to summarize, I don't believe in stumbling upon the one. The One should be God, or whatever higher being you believe in. There are billions of people on this planet; how in the world can there be just 1 person out there for you? If that's the case, then we are all doomed to a long life of forever-searching and comparing. There's not 1 single person out there for you.

 Madison's response was epicness. "There's not someone that we just accidentally bump into and a switch goes off saying that he or she is "the one." Instead, WE PICK who "the one" is for us."

We pick. Who knew we had a choice?

This is something we all know…we've all known…all along. However, television, music, movies, and Nicholas Sparks' novels romanticize the idea of love and relationships. They create a fantasy. If you live and love according to Twilight, then you believe that there is only 1 person/vampire out there for you, and life can't go on without them.

Well, anyone that's been in a relationship knows that they are NOTHING like the movies. In fact, they take a lot of work and time…more time than a 90 minute movie or 200 page novel.

Real life is way more involved…and that's what makes it so much better. That's where the emotion comes in. In reality, we get to pick and choose who we spend and share our life with. It must be a mutual picking to start a relationship with someone, but the point is that two people choose to become important parts of each other's lives. You have the power to pick who you want to have in your life…then it's up to both people to build on that choice and create a relationship.

When you think you've picked the one, you better keep your fingers crossed he or she has decided on you too.

This, my friends, was an ah-ha moment for me. It's something that I already knew. It's basic common sense, but it didn't hit me until Madison said the words, "we pick who the one is for us."

No one picks for you….but you.

You are never stuck with someone. You are never trapped in a bad situation. You get to choose whether or not to stick with them or get out. You get to pick who you share your laughs, cries, smiles, and love with. When shit's tough, you get to pick whether or not it's worth pursuing. (That's one sign of someone being "the one"). There's no one writing rules to love…but you.

I believe in fate and destiny and "everything happens for a reason," but if you don't take the hints, then you are missing your chance to choose the right one for you. I could go into my qualifications for who would be fitting as the right one, but it boils down to this: 30 years from now, you should still be saying that he or she is the most amazing person you've ever met.

That, again, are wise words from Madison.

You should join the conversation! Do you believe in "The One" or having the choice to choose the one?

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